Just Listen. . .

Sometimes in life when you are having a hard time whether it's with work, kids your marriage or getting through the day etc., you just want someone to listen. No advice, just listen with no judgement.

When Max was born we had just recently moved out to Brooklyn and I felt kind of alone. He was extremely colic and literally cried 22 hours out of the day for months. I didn't know anyone with kids back then never mind anyone in my new neighborhood so I signed up for this "mother's group" thinking I needed to surround myself with new mothers and not feel so alone. Max would just scream his head off in these groups and of course everyone would look at me and try and give me advice like "maybe he's hungry (good one)" "You should just put him in the crib and let him cry it out" (tried that he cried I cried for hours, didn't work) meanwhile they had the nerve when their baby let out a tiny squeak to say to me "she is really fussy today". Are you kidding me?  We went to doctor's, allergy testing, I nearly starved myself thinking it was something in my milk trying to find a solution and listening to everyone's "advice".

The only words of wisdom at that time came from my dear friend Keely. Her son was colic when he was born. She said Wini, colic will end and he will be the happiest child and a sweet boy. That's all she said to me. It was like the weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders. It gave me hope.

This whole thing taught me a very important lesson. I know in my life I have  doled out  the "what you should do advice" "if it was me advice" to people when all they wanted was for someone to listen to them, not pass judgement and give them hope and I really regret that at times I didn't do that.

So if someone reaches out to you. . .just listen because sometimes that all it takes to help.  Give them hope and the old stand by "This to shall pass". . . really helps

xxwb